FMR - Fuck My Rommates

Here's the situation: I live in a house with a bunch a shit heads. As a whole, they are dirty ass hippies who suck at life. I should have never moved into a house with these degenerates. They are filthy, stupid, yet see themselves as "progressive" for being dirty fucking

I fucking can't stand this selfish pice of crap

So, I have been roomming w/ a friend of mine from college for one month because I just moved to the City. She is so selfish, moody, argumentative, and seems to be lacking decent human courtesy. First of all, this is NYC, so the walls are paper thin, I can hear every noise

Cheap and Lazy

I knew you were a strange person going into this. We were friends in high school, and you had strange habits. You only wore black because you had social anxiety and apparently if you wore colors, you would be noticed (never mind that you were known school-wide as the

Stop using MY PlayStation 3

Look, I understand you're bored, you're stir crazy. But...you have an android smart phone, you have DVD's galore, a TV in YOUR room, a Super Nintendo, a Nintendo 64, and a gaming computer. You waltz into MY room whenever you feel like it, to play MY PlayStation 3 that I

Freeloading

You two have made me angry since I moved in, and I've said nothing. You eat my food without telling me, you drink my beer, you have the SAME SHIT in the freezer you did a year ago! Why the fuck do you think its OK to take up 95% of the freezer space when two other people also

» weird

3 Annoying Chinese Roommates

Posted on by admin Posted in Annoying, College, Food, Idiots, Nasty, Noise | 9 Comments

I attend Eastern New Mexico University in Portales, NM. It is a rather small school located in a VERY rural area and it has around 5,000 students. I live in one of the university apartment complexes. Last fall I didn’t have any roommates. I don’t really understand that because I live in a 4 bedroom apartment.

In January, a Chinese guy moved into my apartment. There are several hundred people from China that go to school here. I don’t understand why they come to rural New Mexico but they do. This guy said he had been removed from his previous apartment building and had to move into my apartment. He told me he had been caught drinking and smoking several times. At first I didn’t mind him, but after a while he got to be really annoying. He brought in a lot of groceries. He filled up 4 cabinets full of food. He started leaving disgusting messes in the kitchen. The most annoying thing was that he would turn the thermostat up to 80 degrees at night. Luckily he left the thermostat alone after I spoke to him about it.

I thought things were getting better. Two more Chinese guys moved in a few weeks later. These guys had been removed from their old apartment for violations as well. Luckily the two new guys do not cook in the apartment. Their girlfriends do all the cooking for them. Unfortunately the battle for control of the thermostat started again. I do understand that it does get cool at night in New Mexico, but these guys would leave the thermostat set on 75, 80, and 90 degrees. The highest it goes is 90.

Another annoying thing that they do is frequently leave the front door ajar. I left a note for them and asked them to shut the door all the way but I don’t know if they understood it. I think these guys failed the TOEFL exam.

One of the guys lets his girlfriend live with him, which is against university policy. One night I heard some banging noises and yelling. Then I heard some crying coming from one of the rooms. I thought he might be beating his girlfriend so I called the Resident Assistant and he sent over the Housing Director. The Housing Director had to unlock the guy’s door and separate them. Then he called the police. The policeman talked to him for about and hour and told him that false imprisonment is a crime. Apparently his girlfriend didn’t press charges and nothing ever happened to that guy. The Housing Director said there would be university punishment but he still lives here.

The things that they cook are so nasty. They frequently leave meat out on the kitchen counter for several hours. One time it was squid. One time it was beef tongue. Another time it was a rack of lamb. Every time this guy cooks it stinks up the apartment. I bought air fresheners to try to combat the smell but they don’t really do much.

The roommate who lives on my side of the apartment is the worst one. He came home drunk one night at about 3:00 am. He was singing so loudly I could hear it through my door. He got up several times to use the bathroom. When I woke up in the morning I found urine in my waste basket… I was so upset when that happened. This guy never turns on the vent fan when he takes dumps. He has the nastiest smelling dumps… I have to turn on the vent fan after he gets out of the bathroom and open the windows.

Another annoying habit that they have is leaving lights on. They never turn lights off in the apartment. I guess they just don’t care about wasting energy. They also never take out the garbage. I always take it out. They don’t even offer to buy trash bags. I supply all of the trash bags. I also supply all of the toilet paper for the bathroom on my side of the apartment. They never clean up the messes that they make.

Frequently they have their Chinese friends come over. I don’t know what all they do, but I thought I smelled marijuana coming from one room one night.

I don’t know if any of you are having the same problem. I guess these particular Chinese people come from Sichuan Province. They seem to have a lot of money. They have their own cars and have some really nice things. I really hope I don’t get any Chinese roommates next year…

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google
  • Reddit
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Noisy, Stinky, Creepy – you do the math

Posted on by admin Posted in Angry, Garbage, Idiots, Lazy, Mess, Nasty, Noise, Weird | 3 Comments

Apparently doesn’t have the courtesy to masturbate when I’m not in the room. Instead, they find it optimal to masturbate at night when I’m trying to f*cking sleep. Boy, I sure do love trying to rest while the bed is shaking and I’m hearing wet, moaning noises that give me goosebumps from down below.

On a good day, with the window open, the room smells like a dog shelter.

Does not wash their jaundiced, rancid bedsheets. An unpardonable sin.

Walks around the bathroom barefooted, and then walks around the room barefooted. (Let’s drag whatever shit is floating around there back to our room! Woohoo!) It f*cking sounds like a dying fish flopping around crazily every time they walk around the room barefooted.

Leaves what looks like flakes, dead skin, hair and dirt all over the ground. Never sweeps these up. (I do.)

Lacks the common sense to wipe their goddamn shoes after treading in the snow and mud all day before entering the room.

I at least have the courtesy not to turn on the main light to the room–which are bright as f*ck and ring loudly–when coming home late. Unfortunately I, who sleeps on the top bunk and not even two feet away from the main light, have to be subjected to the lights being turned on when they come home late… when the goddamn desk lamps–which provide enough light with minimum noise and minimum insane brightness that not even the bedsheets can mask–are right… f*cking… there.

Makes f*cked-up Hannibal Lecter-type sucking noises in the morning.

Takes way too long to get ready in the morning. Over a f*cking hour. Always has to make their morning drink (every–f*cking–day) as loudly as possible: slamming the microwave door, spoons smacking against the glass and loud, painfully, hair-raisingly loud GULPING noises when consuming said morning drink.

Never helps keeping the room clean. (Me, I sweep the floor, mop the floor, wipe down everything that is touched by human hands with disinfectant wipes, etc.)

Giggles and rants breathlessly to themselves. High-pitched whispers about god knows what and crazy-ass moaning noises. Sounds creepy as hell, like f*cking Pazuzu from The Exorcist.

Cannot put their stinkbomb shoes in the closet after use. Seriously, after taking off their shoes, the whole place instantly smells acutely like a sewer. I have put down a lot of money in air freshener products and sprays.

Puts said shoes by the fridge.

Every night has to make sure their drawers and the door is locked by pulling on the handles incessantly and making loud banging noises.

Snores so badly. I’ve heard them all: Vader-like snores, guttural snores, weezing snores, etc. There are nights when I can’t even sleep.

I can’t wait to go home.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google
  • Reddit
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

On the crazy scale of 1-10 I hate my roommate with a 46!

Posted on by admin Posted in Annoying, Food, Idiots, Weird | 3 Comments

Do you know what’s better than being woken up by an R&B song from 2001 at 6:45? I do. Being woken up by an R&B song from 2001 at 6:45 plus the overhead being turned on and my roommate wearing her squeaky shower shoes while she dances and sings.

My roommate thinks she is Muslim. She was born and raised a Christian. But nowadays she has decided that she must be covered at all times because she is now Muslim.

My roommate is a crazy stalker. She stalks her old boyfriend (broken up for five months now) and even though he has threatened that he will get his parents involved. She saw him the other day and nearly died. He is ugly and has little potential.

My roommate clips her toenails. On my carpet.

My roommate only listens to R&B from the late 90′s and early millennium. There is nothing worse than TLC and Whitney Houston.

My roommate eats Cheez-its like it’s her job. The white cheddar ones that stink like her foot warts.

She sexts boys she has never met.

My roommate is a pathological liar. She always takes my favorite scarf and then says that she doesn’t even like it.

My favorite quality about my roommate is that she is built like a kiwi bird. Look them up.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google
  • Reddit
  • Add to favorites
  • RSS

Why?!

Posted on by admin Posted in Angry, Annoying, College, Idiots, Noise, Weird | Leave a comment

1. I was going to bed after studying till one in the morning and then suddenly a light comes on and I would of understood if he was studying but he got on facebook till three and I was late for class.
2. Offered to let the high school students tour his dorm room while I was still asleep in my bed.
3. He sleeps all day and snores 24/7.
4. He still watches power ranger for F*cks sake you are 19.
5. Takes control of the tv then sleeps on the remote.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google
  • Reddit
  • Add to favorites
  • RSS

The Princess and the Pea

Posted on by admin Posted in Annoying, College, Weird | 3 Comments

My Roommate is very sensitive to sound and light apparently, because she can only sleep when I’m asleep. She essentially is try to get my agree to not be awake in the room past midnight (this is in college btw). I realize being a light sleeper sucks, but she really has no right to kick me out of the room. She has to realize being up at midnight, or even later is normal in college. If I were playing loud music or talking on the phone I would get it, but having 1 dim light on and turning the pages in textbooks is a bit extreme sensitivity.

She wants me to cater to her sleeping habits, but she won’t cater to mine. The only nights that I stay up past 1 are when I have a major test or paper. I feel that is reasonable, I shouldn’t be exiled out of my room is that situation.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google
  • Reddit
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS