FMR - Fuck My Rommates

Here's the situation: I live in a house with a bunch a shit heads. As a whole, they are dirty ass hippies who suck at life. I should have never moved into a house with these degenerates. They are filthy, stupid, yet see themselves as "progressive" for being dirty fucking

I fucking can't stand this selfish pice of crap

So, I have been roomming w/ a friend of mine from college for one month because I just moved to the City. She is so selfish, moody, argumentative, and seems to be lacking decent human courtesy. First of all, this is NYC, so the walls are paper thin, I can hear every noise

Cheap and Lazy

I knew you were a strange person going into this. We were friends in high school, and you had strange habits. You only wore black because you had social anxiety and apparently if you wore colors, you would be noticed (never mind that you were known school-wide as the

Stop using MY PlayStation 3

Look, I understand you're bored, you're stir crazy. But...you have an android smart phone, you have DVD's galore, a TV in YOUR room, a Super Nintendo, a Nintendo 64, and a gaming computer. You waltz into MY room whenever you feel like it, to play MY PlayStation 3 that I

Freeloading

You two have made me angry since I moved in, and I've said nothing. You eat my food without telling me, you drink my beer, you have the SAME SHIT in the freezer you did a year ago! Why the fuck do you think its OK to take up 95% of the freezer space when two other people also

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» annoying

Worst First Experience of College

Posted on April 6, 2011 by admin Posted in Angry, Annoying, College, Lazy, Mess, Noise | Leave a comment

Roomate #1
Even though I had only met you for three days I decided to live with you my entire first year of college which was a bad mistake. You don’t care about anybody’s sh*t except your own and have the tendency to only clean your area. I’m not saying you should clean up after me and the other one but at least keep your hairs out of the fridge. Another thing, you don’t let anyone talk, you always interrupt and talk about your own idea or experience. Give someone else a chance! Don’t ever put your laptop on top of mine when your printing your papers out, its just rude. Opening the door or curtains while I’m changing is not cool! If I do it then you get all butthurt so don’t do it to me! I was nice enough to give you rides back and forth because your family doesn’t have the resources but you don’t have take advantage either. Another habit that’s a bit disgusting is how you leave your dirty socks under the bed all the time. I hate touching your socks every time I have to reach for my shoes.

Roomate #2
Where to start?…First of all, clean up your mess its embarrassing for us when we have guests. Nobody wants to see rotting food next to paint brushes and books. The biggest thing that has just pushed me off the edge is your f*cking boyfriend/f*ck buddy. I HATE HIS F*CKING FACE !!! If your going to f*ck don’t do it while the rest of us are sleeping !!!! I hate the fact that he sleeps over practically everyday. We cant change in the room or wear comfortable pjs. You have completely destroyed my comfort and privacy in the room. Why don’t you sleep over his place, after all he only has one roommate not 2 !!!!!! I also hate your friends, you have very interesting ideas and thoughts but you surround yourself with stupid people. When your in a bad mood you don’t have to take it out on us and be a complete asshole about things. you have completely taken advantage of our generosity but if things persist with your f*ck buddy I think I might tell you guys off before the year ends.

That is most of it (unless im forgetting a few things)

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To all of you

Posted on April 3, 2011 by admin Posted in Annoying, Food, Idiots, Lazy, Mess | Leave a comment

I would like to start off by saying that you are still my best friends. That’s probably why it’s so damn hard to live with you.

Roommate 1 – Silence is okay. Nice, actually. Quiet=productive. But it’s okay. I figured out what the problem is. YOU HAVE THE TV ON ALL THE FRICKIN TIME! CONSTANT INPUT! You don’t know how to function without it anymore. Well I do, and I would really, really appreciate it if you would get a TV in your room and just watch it in there. And you’re moody. All the time. Bitch please.

Roommate 2 – Please don’t leave your stuff all over the kitchen. I understand that you eat oatmeal every day, but there is enough cupboard space that it doesn’t need to stay on the counter all the time. As long as we’re on the subject of oatmeal, can we talk about your non-existent rinsing habits? Please rinse your bowl. And by rinse, I don’t mean fill it up with water and then leave it in the sink. That’s gross. Also, that bagel you brought back from the caf? I used it to pound a nail back into the wall today.

Roommate 3 – When you decide to have a piece of toast and put butter, peanut butter, apple butter, jelly, or anything else you can think of on it, does it cross your mind to NOT leave your knife on the counter for the next 2 days? Also, please eat healthier. Ramen, chocolate chips, ice cream, and Ritz crackers are not going to help you lose any weight. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I like you the way you are. It just pisses me off when you eat like that and then ask me how your outfit looks. I don’t want to lie and say it looks fine because I care and I don’t want anybody to make fun, but on the other hand I don’t want to dance around it. Also, I don’t like to repeat myself. Please listen closer. I don’t mutter or anything, so it’s definitely on your end. Oh, and one more thing: your boyfriend is too protective. He makes me angry.

Now for everybody – Is it really that hard to put your dishes in the dishwasher? And put them in the same direction? Frankly it just doesn’t work to put bowls facing opposite directions. Then you’re shocked when it fills up so fast. SURPRISE!! You fail.

Thanks,
M

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A. and the Demon Bitch N.

Posted on April 3, 2011 by admin Posted in Angry, Annoying, College, Noise, Weird | Leave a comment

Let me tell you a sad story. Once upon a time, there was a girl named A. She was happy at the beginning of this semester because she had no roommate. Her previous awesome roomie S. moved to another dorm. But then the wicked bastards at Office of Residence Life forced A. to move from her awesome room to live with a Demon Cunt named N. from Barbados. N. is a sorry excuse for a human being and everyone hates her. Her own “friends” last year got so fed up with her sh*t that they wished she’d kill herself already. A tried to escape by offering the fucktards at ORL an extra $3000 just to stay in her room, but they refused and told A. to suffer.

So now A. is forced to live with N., who is an inconsiderate twat burger who gets up at 4 am to move sh*t around, knowing A has early classes. N. looks like a deep fried Rhianna who was hit with an A-bomb. She sounds like it too. She snorts and sighs loudly for no reason and f*cks around on her boyfriend. But A. believes the boyfriend is doing the same. A. is sad because her friends cannot visit her anymore because N. has social no life and wants A. not to have one either. Plus A.’s friends hate N. and A’s new room is smaller than her old one. A. cannot watch T.V., nor play her PS3, nor listen to music, nor receive a call without N. passively-aggressively bitching or ruining it all-together. So A. now smokes everyday and stays out till exhaustion to avoid depression because she hates N. so f*cking much. And A. is a senior taking 22 credits, so this is messing with her academically. But she is trapped in this cycle because if she is in the room sober and not sleeping she will kill N. and go to jail.

Now that you know A.’s sad tale, please pray for her. Or at least that N. gets hit by a truck

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GET OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM!!!

Posted on March 27, 2011 by admin Posted in Annoying, Lazy, Mess | 1 Comment

So my roomate has decided to turn our shared living room (4 people live in the house), into her own personal work space. It started in the first place we lived at, when she took up the entire futon with her laptop, books, and notes for school. She made a complete mess of the living room, so I decided to give her a very subtle, nice hint by buying her a file cabinet thing to put her crap into. But she didn’t get the hint (or intentionally ignored it). Her laptop is a piece of junk and screws up if you close it, so if we ever moved it off of the futon she freaked out.

We now live in a new place (unfortunately she is still with us), and SHE STILL DOES IT. Her excuse before was that she was too far away from the wireless router and didn’t get a good signal, well now her room is about 15 feet from the damned router, but she still uses the fricken living room as her workspace. I can’t even watch tv in peace. She is ALWAYS there messing around with her laptop, and doing her homework. She has no reason to be using to use the loveseat as a work area, since it is a terrible uncomfortable work environment. Why won’t she just GO AWAY!!! Seriously get out of the freaking living room before I break your damn laptop, and throw your books in the trash!

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Just Like Everyone Else

Posted on March 27, 2011 by admin Posted in Annoying, College, Idiots, Noise | Leave a comment

I’m a college freshman at a school that my parents pretty much picked (long story short – my dad got a new job after my senior year); I’m not a huge fan of the school. Anyways, I have an interesting roommate – we don’t hate each other’s guts; but we never talk to each other. He and I have different interests and he is non-existent after Thursday nights (he goes to friends’ apartments or dorms). However, when we’re in the room together – we pretty much ignore each other. The most annoying thing is when I want to watch a sports game and he brings his friend over and they watch annoying YouTube videos REALLY loud! Can you say rude? And he always seems to forget his key somewhere – this morning he started pounding on the door at 9am and was angry on how I “locked the door, knowing he was out”. So annoying; can’t wait until I’m done with this freshman year and don’t have to see him or his ugly blue hair ever again.

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