Category Archives: Food

TAKE A SHOWER. DO SOME LAUNDRY. VACUUM THE FLOOR.

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My roommates bedroom is disgusting. They have dirty dishes, old food, opened canned food, garbage, dirty diapers, old moldy baby bottles, and puke rags everywhere. Not to mention the dirty clothes piled up. I saw a pair of her underwear with a dirty pad stuck to it the other day. These people are ridiculous. They don’t vacuum, EVER. They don’t put the dishes in the sink, they don’t do laundry, and they don’t THROW AWAY GARBAGE AT ALL.

I really wouldn’t care if it weren’t for the smell. To get to me bedroom, I have to walk past theirs. It smells rotten. I don’t know how they can live in it. The dirty laundry alone smells like death.

It’s starting to get bad though. There’s a decent sized pile of dirty clothes OUTSIDE their bedroom door. Across the hall from their bedroom door is their bathroom. Garbage piled two feet high off the counter and on the floor behind the toilet. Dirty pads and tampons just sitting in a clear garbage bag on the floor. The smell is worse than the bedroom.

To make things 10 times worse.. Their baby is only three months old. They have HIM living like that and it isn’t acceptable. I mean, I have him most of the time just because they’re lazy, and pathetic… but really. I’m the only person who cleans the kitchen.. and the only room that actually smells GOOD in this house is mine. Thank god my bathroom is attached only to my bedroom. I don’t like to be in any other room of the house but my own.

I can’t take this much longer.

3 Annoying Chinese Roommates

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I attend Eastern New Mexico University in Portales, NM. It is a rather small school located in a VERY rural area and it has around 5,000 students. I live in one of the university apartment complexes. Last fall I didn’t have any roommates. I don’t really understand that because I live in a 4 bedroom apartment.

In January, a Chinese guy moved into my apartment. There are several hundred people from China that go to school here. I don’t understand why they come to rural New Mexico but they do. This guy said he had been removed from his previous apartment building and had to move into my apartment. He told me he had been caught drinking and smoking several times. At first I didn’t mind him, but after a while he got to be really annoying. He brought in a lot of groceries. He filled up 4 cabinets full of food. He started leaving disgusting messes in the kitchen. The most annoying thing was that he would turn the thermostat up to 80 degrees at night. Luckily he left the thermostat alone after I spoke to him about it.

I thought things were getting better. Two more Chinese guys moved in a few weeks later. These guys had been removed from their old apartment for violations as well. Luckily the two new guys do not cook in the apartment. Their girlfriends do all the cooking for them. Unfortunately the battle for control of the thermostat started again. I do understand that it does get cool at night in New Mexico, but these guys would leave the thermostat set on 75, 80, and 90 degrees. The highest it goes is 90.

Another annoying thing that they do is frequently leave the front door ajar. I left a note for them and asked them to shut the door all the way but I don’t know if they understood it. I think these guys failed the TOEFL exam.

One of the guys lets his girlfriend live with him, which is against university policy. One night I heard some banging noises and yelling. Then I heard some crying coming from one of the rooms. I thought he might be beating his girlfriend so I called the Resident Assistant and he sent over the Housing Director. The Housing Director had to unlock the guy’s door and separate them. Then he called the police. The policeman talked to him for about and hour and told him that false imprisonment is a crime. Apparently his girlfriend didn’t press charges and nothing ever happened to that guy. The Housing Director said there would be university punishment but he still lives here.

The things that they cook are so nasty. They frequently leave meat out on the kitchen counter for several hours. One time it was squid. One time it was beef tongue. Another time it was a rack of lamb. Every time this guy cooks it stinks up the apartment. I bought air fresheners to try to combat the smell but they don’t really do much.

The roommate who lives on my side of the apartment is the worst one. He came home drunk one night at about 3:00 am. He was singing so loudly I could hear it through my door. He got up several times to use the bathroom. When I woke up in the morning I found urine in my waste basket… I was so upset when that happened. This guy never turns on the vent fan when he takes dumps. He has the nastiest smelling dumps… I have to turn on the vent fan after he gets out of the bathroom and open the windows.

Another annoying habit that they have is leaving lights on. They never turn lights off in the apartment. I guess they just don’t care about wasting energy. They also never take out the garbage. I always take it out. They don’t even offer to buy trash bags. I supply all of the trash bags. I also supply all of the toilet paper for the bathroom on my side of the apartment. They never clean up the messes that they make.

Frequently they have their Chinese friends come over. I don’t know what all they do, but I thought I smelled marijuana coming from one room one night.

I don’t know if any of you are having the same problem. I guess these particular Chinese people come from Sichuan Province. They seem to have a lot of money. They have their own cars and have some really nice things. I really hope I don’t get any Chinese roommates next year…

On the crazy scale of 1-10 I hate my roommate with a 46!

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Do you know what’s better than being woken up by an R&B song from 2001 at 6:45? I do. Being woken up by an R&B song from 2001 at 6:45 plus the overhead being turned on and my roommate wearing her squeaky shower shoes while she dances and sings.

My roommate thinks she is Muslim. She was born and raised a Christian. But nowadays she has decided that she must be covered at all times because she is now Muslim.

My roommate is a crazy stalker. She stalks her old boyfriend (broken up for five months now) and even though he has threatened that he will get his parents involved. She saw him the other day and nearly died. He is ugly and has little potential.

My roommate clips her toenails. On my carpet.

My roommate only listens to R&B from the late 90′s and early millennium. There is nothing worse than TLC and Whitney Houston.

My roommate eats Cheez-its like it’s her job. The white cheddar ones that stink like her foot warts.

She sexts boys she has never met.

My roommate is a pathological liar. She always takes my favorite scarf and then says that she doesn’t even like it.

My favorite quality about my roommate is that she is built like a kiwi bird. Look them up.

Couldn’t Be Bothered

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To begin, this is my third roommate. I don’t know what it is, but I have had very different sorts of roommates (and by that I mean they were all entitled bitches from the suburbs but have slightly different opinions about what constitutes a mess and how to be a tolerable person to live with). My current roommate, lets call her Ella, is no better than the last two but she has some very special qualities that make her perhaps more annoying.

Firstly, whenever she has her boyfriend over she feels the need to make a huge mess and never clean it up nor put the 283928 beer bottles she has accumulated over the evening in the friggin recycling she insisted on, she never does dishes and feels that unless the dishes are 99% hers she shouldn’t have to (and yet when they are I still somehow end up doing them), she waits until the last minute to get me her rent check and yet when she needs money for the cable I must pay it to her immediately with no notice, she clearly doesn’t like my boyfriend and feels the need to be incredibly awkward and borderline rude to him every time he is over, she takes up all of the storage and never has offered to move anything to make room for my things including storing some strange sort of work-out pod in the hall closet leaving no room for winter coats, she leaves a trail of crumbs, batter, pasta, and whatever else wherever she goes, and she feels the need to leave ME passive aggressive notes about having the heat on IN THE FRIGGIN WINTER.

Tonight she “confronted” me about leaving the heat on downstairs (that barely works) and I told her about my grievances to which she looked at me like I had accused her of killing puppies and proceeded to say that me cleaning was a “recent thing” by that she must have meant that I didn’t clean the two weeks I didn’t live here yet. UGH!!! I wish her boyfriend would get his ass in gear so she can move out already and he can deal with her insanity. I HATE ROOMMATES!!!

Singing, Scarfing and Smelling

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So my roommate this year is one of my good friends. I should say was, it has been 3 months of living together and I am confident that extreme amount of annoying behavior has put me over the edge. I am on the verge of murder. Problems that have added up to equal my hate?

1. Singing and music. I, like any normal person like music. I enjoy almost anythings. I have even come to like some songs from Glee which are her favorite. However, last week for example, I had to listen to the Glee version of singing in the rain 6 times in a row, over and over she would play this song it drove me crazy. Then started the singing…She is not bad but is it really necessary to sing as much as she does. I here her sh*t music all day everyday, it never stops. I ask her to use headphones but she does not and when me and my other roommates make fun of her for her horrible taste she literally cries.

2. She eats everything she can get her grubby hands on. Literally. We can’t grocery shop as a room cause the chips or cookies or salsa we all go in on are gone within a week if that. She ate entire bow of oreos in one day. ONE DAY! and my soy milk is constantly being depleted. just go buy your own damn milk.

3. Hygiene. Not only does this bitch hardly ever shower but has no started to use my things. She has broken half the bristles on my brush running it through her nasty, knotted hair. Also, cleans her pussing ingrown toenail with my stuff!!!! like my neosporin gets her gross all over it.

4. Crying. Everything I say or do that is a joke results in a bitchy tone or a tear fest. Normal jokes between people can’t happen with this thing.

5. Walking around in your underwear. Yes me and my room mates have no problem with that. In fact its fine be me however she is about 200 pounds of woman and nobody wants to see that in a pair of granny panties sprinting around the room. Please, thats just gross.

6. Bedtime at nine o clock, I’m in college. Nuff said.

Fat Snoring Slob!

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My Roommate is a very nice guy, so I hate to be mean, but oh my god does this guy smell like sh*t. I swear I don’t think he brushes his teeth. His toothbrush has been on the same place on the shelf for months and it doesnt look used at ALL. Also he leaves his food and sh*t EVERYWHERE, He left fries open on his desk. Just open, no covering or anything, for WHOLE WEEK. I asked him if he was gonna eat them and he said, no and he apologized saying he would throw them away. but a few days later he still hadnt touched them. So while he was in class, I put them on his pillow. I came back to find them moved right NEXT to his bed. Eventually he FINALLY threw them out. (and took out his “trash box”, yes he doesnt have a trash can or waste basket, instead shoving all his trash into a small cardbord box which he empties and doesnt change.) Also, he snores like a god damn FOG HORN, its so awful. He is just a disgusting human being, who smells, is overweight, eats wayyyy to much ramen, which smells up the goddam dorm room. He also never paid me for his half of the microfridge. I feel bad for whoever has to live with this guy next year…

Disgusting Roomie

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My roomie of around a year was intolerable. Due to student housing we had to share a large room, and a bathroom. This girl used the same towels the entire YEAR without washing them, used a sleeping bag on top of her mattress which went unwashed the entire year. The only things she washed were her body and her clothes, which didn’t help with the overwhelming scent in the room.

She ate 99 cent TV dinners which made the entire apartment smell like horrid, overcooked slop, and never cleaned a bit until we got her off her Xbox and screamed at her to clean. But the worst by far was about a week before she moved out. She had stashed every single dirty tampon and pad from the last three months underneath the sink in our bathroom….behind an EMPTY trash can! The blood stuck to the cabinets and stunk like something had died in our bathroom! No wonder I had been taking too many showers recently, I thought it was ME who was stinking up the bathroom. No, it was my filthy, disgusting roomie.

Amanda, I hope you rot in hell for making me go through a year of your uncleanliness.

FMR – F*ck My Roommates

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Here’s the situation: I live in a house with a bunch a sh*t heads. As a whole, they are dirty ass hippies who suck at life. I should have never moved into a house with these degenerates. They are filthy, stupid, yet see themselves as “progressive” for being dirty f*cking hippies. You guys are the reason why nobody wants to listen to activists or environmentalists, because flakes like you ruin that image with your laziness and whining. I will describe each roommate and why they should go f*ck themselves. This is probably also an argument for why parents need to smack their kids: otherwise you’ll get self-entitled f*cks that fail at life.

Roommate #1: You don’t work and all you have to worry about is school. That’s it. Does it take too much time to practice proper hygeine? I can smell yours and Roommate #2′s stinky rank rooms from down the hallway. Also stop being a condescending f*ck to my girlfriend, she might not be as old as you, but she certainly has her shit together more then you do. I’d be upset too if I had to be around you guys as much as she does. So how about before trying to make my girlfriend out to be somehow not as smart as you, let’s just point out the fact that she gets better grades than you, volunteers and exercises more then you, and she’s graduating this year while you still have two (maybe more) years to go and she’s a good 3 years younger then you. Maybe you should peel your fat ass off the couch and do more with your life before judging others? Oh, and where the f*ck is the money you owe me? you said you’d give it to me once you got your student loan, and I have yet to see my money since you got your loan.

Roommate #2: You as well, need to learn how to do laundry and not smell like sh*t. Somehow you got a girlfriend, but after meeting her I can see how you two are quite the pair. You are the oldest yet the most irresponsible. All you do is whine about your work (which is only part-time, I work full-time you b*tch) and never wash dishes or cook for anyone. At least Rommie #1 cooks and sometimes cleans. You act like you are better then everyone else because you are not originally from Canada, but reality is, you are in your mid 30s and still can’t take care of yourself, so yah, you can’t really judge anyone. Stop putting your dishes ontop of the dishwashers, you are supposed to 1) open dishwasher and then 2) put dishes in dish washer.

Roommate #3: aka whiny ass gf of rommie #2. STOP B*TCHING ABOUT YOUR MASTERS! If you don’t like it so much, then drop out! I can’t take it anymore, every time you come home all you do is whine. News flash: you are not that exciting to talk to either. All you do is whine and talk about school stuff, and how you are so hard done by, f*ck off you are such a boring f*ck. Oh and, I’m sorry, but just because you are in University and you bang a lot of people, that doesn’t make you a feminist, it makes you a slut. And also, stop whining about how big your butt is, how about you eat properly and exercise? Because, eating potato chips all days and then saying at dinner time “I’ll only have a little, I’m trying to lose weight”… WTF? Sorry but you get no sympathy from me. I never see you ever cook for anyone, and YOU were the one to come up with the rule “whoever cooks doesn’t have to clean” yet when someone cooks for you, you rarely do the dishes, yet alone offer any help. I’m sorry, but just because you are doing your Masters it doesn’t mean that everyone should cater to you. By the way, you are really ugly and you walk like Mr. Smithers from the Simpsons. I really hope that you and #2 never have children. They will be ugly as sh*t, and lazy as f*ck.

Roommate #4 – Why are you so passive? You are an okay roommate, but even when I point out how Roommate #3 is using you you just ignore it? Do you want people to feel sorry for you? Are you really that stupid that you can’t see that you are a doormat to the other roommates and they treat you like a slave? I hope you snap at the whiny b*tch #3 one day because she is using you beyond belief for attention. Can’t you see she is a manipulative c*nt who kisses your ass so that you cook dinner for her and kiss her fat ass back?

If it wasn’t for my girlfriend believing all your stupid sob stories and convincing me that we should get a house together, then none of you would have been able to move out. You ungrateful f*ck heads. As soon as you get what you want, you just become lazy assholes and never live up to what you say you’ll do. All of you will have sh*tty lives because you are either stupid or have no work ethic nor proper hygiene. You are all gross assholes and hope you guys continue to fail at life.

To all of you

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I would like to start off by saying that you are still my best friends. That’s probably why it’s so damn hard to live with you.

Roommate 1 – Silence is okay. Nice, actually. Quiet=productive. But it’s okay. I figured out what the problem is. YOU HAVE THE TV ON ALL THE FRICKIN TIME! CONSTANT INPUT! You don’t know how to function without it anymore. Well I do, and I would really, really appreciate it if you would get a TV in your room and just watch it in there. And you’re moody. All the time. Bitch please.

Roommate 2 – Please don’t leave your stuff all over the kitchen. I understand that you eat oatmeal every day, but there is enough cupboard space that it doesn’t need to stay on the counter all the time. As long as we’re on the subject of oatmeal, can we talk about your non-existent rinsing habits? Please rinse your bowl. And by rinse, I don’t mean fill it up with water and then leave it in the sink. That’s gross. Also, that bagel you brought back from the caf? I used it to pound a nail back into the wall today.

Roommate 3 – When you decide to have a piece of toast and put butter, peanut butter, apple butter, jelly, or anything else you can think of on it, does it cross your mind to NOT leave your knife on the counter for the next 2 days? Also, please eat healthier. Ramen, chocolate chips, ice cream, and Ritz crackers are not going to help you lose any weight. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I like you the way you are. It just pisses me off when you eat like that and then ask me how your outfit looks. I don’t want to lie and say it looks fine because I care and I don’t want anybody to make fun, but on the other hand I don’t want to dance around it. Also, I don’t like to repeat myself. Please listen closer. I don’t mutter or anything, so it’s definitely on your end. Oh, and one more thing: your boyfriend is too protective. He makes me angry.

Now for everybody – Is it really that hard to put your dishes in the dishwasher? And put them in the same direction? Frankly it just doesn’t work to put bowls facing opposite directions. Then you’re shocked when it fills up so fast. SURPRISE!! You fail.

Thanks,
M

DO THE TRASH!!!

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I am not the most cleanly person ever, I admit. But I am sick and tired of taking out the trash for you people. I don’t use sh*t that needs to be trashed (I use bowls, and plastic cups that need washed). So I hardly throw anything away. Yet somehow the trash gets filled after only 1 day!!! Since I didn’t fill even 1/10 of it, I don’t take it out, and I leave it for whoever did fill it up. But strangely enough, no one throws anything away for 3 days, so no one takes it out. WTF!!! I finally get sick of looking at it so I take it out myself. And heres a suprise the following day it is f*cking full again!!!! And the god damn cycle continues. Are you guys putting your trash into trash cans in your bedrooms and just emptying them when I take out the trash? Again, WTF?!! I am tired of this sh*t, so I am spending all of my time in my bedroom, and doing my own trash. And seriously, A (for asshole), the living room is not just yours. So if I find your laptop, books, and notes hogging the loveseat when you have been gone for hours one more time, I am putting it outside for anyone to take.